I went to court today.  Not for the first time…probably not the last.  It was a matter of principal, and in matters of principal I am prepared to throw down whatever gauntlet is required to guard against offense, regardless of magnitude.  Justice must be served, and our rights as citizens must be protected.  As Thomas Jefferson once said, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”

Today the burden fell upon me to refresh that tree with my blood…or, at least, my twenty bucks.

Here’s what happened.

A couple of weeks back, I’d gone to my favorite bar, Uisce, in the mid-morning to interview the owners, Molly and David, for an article. I parked in front, paid the meter, and headed in for the interview.  When I returned, an hour or so later, I saw the all-too-familiar yellow envelope decorating my windshield. Guh… Oh well…I guess I stayed too long. No matter, it was worth it.  However, my mood quickly changed when I looked at the ticket.  It said that I had parked over the line that divides the spaces, and the fine was $20. Twenty Dollars?!!!!  What kind of a society are we living in when you can charge somebody $20 for coloring a little bit outside the lines?!!!

I’ve prepared a detailed diagram to set the scene:

As you can see, there were three spaces along the sidewalk. My car is represented in the diagram as “#2″. Cars #1 and #3 were already there when I arrived, so naturally, I performed one of my customarily precise parallel parking maneuvers.  Upon returning, cars #1 and #3 had been replaced by others, with no evident effect having been caused by my “infraction”.

Here are the central points of my case, as prepared for the jury*

• The rules regarding the parking code are unknown and unclear. In a made-up survey of 20 random Bellingham drivers, 19 had never heard of such a rule.
• No harm, no foul. Given that all available spaces were used and paid for, there was simply no evidence that any harm had been done to either the City of Bellingham’s coffers or the lives other drivers, err… parkers. Common sense suggests that the delineation of individual parking spaces is arbitrary, assuming that each space may be occupied and paid for. Surely, it would have been different if my actions had resulted in the occupation of two spots, but that was clearly not the case.
• The small, local businesses of downtown Bellingham rely on the ability of their customers to park their cars within a reasonable distance. Parking rules were created by the City to protect those spaces in the interest of local business. In my capacity as a journalist, it is surely plain to see that I was making wise and beneficial use of the available parking, both as a paying “customer” of the City, and as an advocate of the local business whose marketing was the purpose of my visit.  Does it not seem contrary to the City’s agenda, vis-a-vis local business, to unjustly punish citizens who are attempting to advocate and participate in a thriving downtown economy?
• What was my alternative? To NOT park in the nice, convenient spot because some idiot before me doesn’t know how to park? Are we all, then, to be continually at the mercy of our fellow drivers in matters of parking?
• My car is a compact Japanese sedan. It doesn’t take up a lot of space. Why not go after some jack-ass in a Hummer?

*[Ed. Note: There was not really a  jury, per se. Rather, there was just a judge and a court reporter seated ominously behind a raised bench. The whole setting looked like a scene from C-Span. There were two long tables, end to end,  each with three microphones, opposite the bench with about 10 feet in between. Behind the tables were rows of pews with room for about 300 spectators]

Having delivered my arguments with poise and grace, I calmly sat back while the judge carefully rendered her verdict. The room was heavy with anticipation. The gallery, I sensed, was behind me. Well, figuratively behind me…obviously they were also literally behind me.

“I’ll grant you the maximum reduction”, she said.

Victory! The room erupted with applause, whooping and hollering from every corner. Confetti fell from the rafters while the band played Battle Hymn of the Republic…  celebratory canon fire from the street shook the walls, even as the first reports of this tremendous triumph of the meek hit the major cable and internet news outlets.  I was later to find out that CNN’s Reynolds Wolf cried a single tear…which struck me as particularly powerful, given the jokes I’d made at his expense in recent weeks…

The judge extended her hand to quiet the room. The cheering slowly subsided, the band faded out…

“That’ll be twelve dollars”, she said.

I was aghast, agog, taken aback! I reached quickly for my pocket thesaurus to search for additional synonyms.  The room was suddenly silent… There I was…a solitary soul, standing tall before the Goliath of the American Judicial System.  I extended my chest and spoke with great inner confidence, like Joseph Welch challenging Senator McCarthy, ” Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?”  This only confused the judge, however. Being a woman, she was evidently unaccustomed to being addressed as “sir”.  Still, the mob was with me, and the air was electric with nervous excitement.  Proud, they were, to see one of their own, a lowly citizen, daring to challenge the system and speak up in defense of the Working Man.

But then, out loud, I said, ” Meh…really? Ok. Thanks, I guess.“

By that point, my concern had shifted, from the $20 fine I already had, to the potential $99 fine that might be waiting for me in the parking lot. See, I’d learned from two hapless souls who’d gone up before me, that it is also against the rules to drive without a license plate on the front of your car.  I’d been driving my car for 5 years without a front plate, but I was suddenly positive that Irony was out to get me, and that I would end up paying far more than the 20 bucks I’d come down here to fight about.  So I decided that saving $8 was still, technically, a win….so I took it.  By the way, $99 was the reduced(!) fine for not having a front plate.

I decided it would be wise to do some investigating of the rules, so as to avoid further frustrating reduction of my finances, and because I am fond of alliteration. Unfortunately, the City of Bellingham Municipal Code appears to have been written by Miss Teen South Carolina. (Watch the video, below, if you don’t get the reference) I’m not kidding… I’ll leave you with a little taste. Thanks for reading!

11.36.030 – PARKING METERS – DEPOSIT OF COINS AND TIME LIMITS (WAC 308-330-610)

A. No person shall park a vehicle in any parking meter space alongside of and next to which a parking meter has been installed during the restricted and regulated time applicable to the parking meter zone in which such meter is located unless a United States coin or coins of the approximate denomination as indicated on the parking meter or a city-issued token shall have been deposited therein for unexpired intervals of time, and said meter has been placed in operation.

B. No person shall permit a vehicle within his control to be parked in any parking meter space during the restricted and regulated time applicable to the parking meter zone in which such meter is located while the parking meter for such space indicates by signal that the lawful parking time in such space has expired. This provision shall not apply to the act of parking or the necessary time which is required to deposit immediately thereafter a coin or coins in such meter.

C. No person shall park a vehicle in any parking meter space for a consecutive period of time longer than the maximum lawful parking time designated on the meter, irrespective of the number or amounts of the coins deposited in such meter.

Bellingham Bay and the nearby San Juan Islands are well known to be among the best places in the World for kayaking and small-boat sailing. It is no surprise then that Bellingham, with its  miles of urban waterfront, offers superior access for intrepid sailors, rowers and “yakkers”, as I’ve just decided to call them. Tucked away between the Alaska ferry terminal and a small tidal lagoon, on the water-side of the train tracks you’ll find one of Bellingham’s hidden treasures, the Bellingham Bay Community Boating Center*.  Little-known outside of a relatively tight-knit group of local small-boat enthusiasts, the Community Boating Center is THE place to learn about and rent kayaks, rowing shells and sailing dinghies.

*The official name is just “Community Boating Center”…

Beginning as a small shop in the mid-70’s, the Boating Center became a non-profit organization in 2007, and is now headed by executive director Mike Callaizakis. Their primary mission is to promote education and safety, featuring programs in cold water safety, environmental awareness, and beginner-to-intermediate courses in kayaking, rowing and sailing.  According to Callaizakis, “it’s all about getting people on the water and creating access…” Proceeds are allocated to at-risk youth programs and community projects, such as the planned construction of a new dock nearby.

Among the center’s many classes, the most popular are the kayak series, sailing series and the sculling camp. Click here for a full list of their 2010 classes.

In addition to educational programs, the center offers guided tours, rentals and storage. There are some very affordable rental packages, including an unbelievable $125 season pass for unlimited kayak rentals, $250 for the whole family!  They’re open from 9am-8pm (last boat at 7pm) Wednesday-Sunday, May 1st -October 31st

555 Harris Avenue, Bellingham, WA 98227 360.714.8891 info@sailpaddlerow.com

Be sure to check out the flyers below for info about a couple of upcoming events being sponsored by the CBC. Click the thumbnails to see full-size images.

Special thanks to my Dad for his editorial assistance with this article. Luckily for me, he went to a private school and has a much firmer grasp of the language than I…

Thanks for reading! Please leave comments or suggestions below, e-mail me at rob.leroy@exprealty.com, or call me at 206.883.6668 …and yes, you CAN hire me as your real estate agent!

If you’re on Facebook, you can join my fan page for daily updates by clicking the banner below.

Dear NAR,

In regard to your recent letter, I am quite sorry, and duly ashamed, to report that I have been unable to procure the funds necessary to continue my membership. Maybe you would be happier if I brought you a few pints of blood, or a kidney…or perhaps my first-born (sorry, no son…but I have a beautiful daughter whose educational expenses have, unfortunately, drained many of my funds for which you are in such urgent need…). I realize that most real estate agents are making boatloads of money in this current economic climate, and that $687 is an absolutely reasonable sum to demand for your…services, which, as far as I can tell, include little more than a monthly magazine and a fancy lapel pin. I find it despicable that you’ve tacked on $50/month in late-fees, as if the reason I hadn’t yet paid was that I had too much money in my account…or are you just assuming that I am lazy? Oh, of course…that must be it. You think I’m lazy, and that punishment by taxation is the most likely method by which to make me fall in line.

You know what, you’re right. I don’t deserve to be in this business… I mean, I’ve only dedicated 6 years of my life to it…it’s not like I was taking it seriously. Clearly, I am a dismal failure…the likes of which most certainly need to be drummed out of “the business”… Thank you for helping me to come to grips with this harsh, yet suddenly obvious reality. I think this industry is best left to the armies of octogenarians who continue to make money hand-over-fist simply because everybody knows their names….even if they can rarely remember them, themselves. Further, I am suddenly made aware of the fact that innovative, personable, and honest younger people, like myself, have no business trying to add any kind of respectability, innovation or common sense to an industry that has SUCH a good reputation in the eyes of the American public. No, no…better we leave it to the backstabbing hacks that have run the entire economy into the ground…they clearly are more deserving of bonus checks and vacation homes.

In closing, I would like to humbly thank you for opening my eyes to the glaring atrocity that is my career. You would have thought that last year’s two IRS audits, bankruptcy and foreclosure would have been enough to drive home the final nail…but no, my stubborn perseverance was too much for either the Government or the banks…only you, the esteemed National Association of Realtors had the necessary stamina and fortitude to hang in there long enough for me to finally bleed out…

Respectfully,

Robert F. Le Roy

Do you like to wear a dress over your corduroy pants? Do you have greasy, matted up hair that qualifies as its own ecosystem? Do you think that voting during a Presidential campaign is a waste of time because the American system of government is set up in such a way as to present a false-choice between two nearly-identical evils? If so, then you probably already know about “The Hub,” and this article is not directed at you.

If, on the other hand, you’re a starving college student, a regular citizen who has fallen on hard times and needs a helping hand, or just some guy who drives a broken down heap with no brakes and really wants to cut down on car expenses, then this article IS directed at you!

So then, what is The Hub? I’m glad you asked…

Founded about 8 years ago by Bellingham resident Kyle Morris, the Hub is a “… non-profit, community based, bicycle shop dedicated to inspiring love for bicycles for anyone who has love to give. …majority of bikes sold here are bikes once forgotten but given new life through the generous donations of the members of the community and the hard work, tender love, and care of the staff. A large section of the shop is dedicated to open shop space to anyone who wishes to service their own bike. Donations are accepted by the hour. Tools are provided. Donations of the monetary variety and the bicycle variety are greatly appreciated.”

With about 200+ refurbished bikes for sale, as well as numerous piles and cabinets full of spare parts, the Hub personifies the spirit of community that Bellingham is so well known for. Bikes are donated from all over the area, and large amounts of the proceeds go directly to programs for the homeless and others in need. Sure, there are some other really great local bike shops, but those cater to folks who can afford several hundred or a few thousand dollars on a brand-new ride. The Hub offers perfectly decent bikes in the $250-450 range, and their emphasis on education and teamwork keeps repair and maintenance costs to a minimum.

With just a handful of employees and several volunteers, the Hub offers classes on bicycle maintenance and, for only $5/hour, offers a community repair space filled with every type of tool and how-to manual.

• In honor of this month’s 7th Annual Bike to Work and School Day, the Hub is celebrating with a community pancake feed from 7-10am on Friday, May 21st, followed by a BBQ with live music, scavenger hunt, and a raffle on Saturday the 22nd, beginning at 11am. It is their biggest event of the year, and an excellent opportunity to get to know what they’re all about!

The Hub is located at 903 1/2 N. State Street in Bellingham. It sits off the street, between State and the South Bay Trail… 360.255.2072

Click on the thumbnails to see the full-sized images

Thanks for reading! Please leave comments or suggestions below, e-mail me at rob.leroy@exprealty.com, or call me at 206.883.6668 …and yes, you CAN hire me as your real estate agent!

If you’re on Facebook, you can join my fan page for daily updates by clicking the banner below.

Pop quiz: Raise your hand if you actually know what Cinco de Mayo* is all about. Come on, let’s see ‘em!  …That’s what I thought.

*That’s “5th of May”, for those of you who don’t speak Spanish

The Mexican holiday of Cinco de Mayo is about more than just margaritas and buckets of Corona…not that you’d know it by watching the hoards of drunken real estate agents revelers running all over downtown Bellingham this afternoon.  Aside from the drink specials, Mariachi bands and culturally dubious over-sized sombreros, there is a real cause for celebration on this special day. I won’t pretend to be a scholar of Mexican history, so I will happily borrow from Wickipedia…

“Cinco de Mayo is a holiday held on May 5 that commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín. It is celebrated primarily in the state of Puebla and in the United States. While Cinco de Mayo sees limited significance and celebration nationwide in Mexico, the date is observed nationwide in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride. Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico’s Independence Day, the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico.”

Here in Bellingham, as in most of the U.S., Cinco de Mayo has taken on a cultural significance more along the lines of other national “holidays” like Oktoberfest, St. Patrick’s Day, and the Chinese New Year, celebrating the Mexican people and customs as much as the historical events of the day, itself.   Cinco de Mayo is a day for all of  us to take a minute and reflect upon the fact that our country owes much of its character and custom to people who didn’t sail across the seas from Europe…at least not the White ones…  This would be an awfully boring place to live if we didn’t have the cultural and ethnic diversity brought to us by people hailing from outside our borders.  As much as I love my Guinness, Spaten, and Smithwick’s, I don’t think I’d want to live in a world without Corona and Patron Silver margarita’s…

On that note, there are some special events happening tonight around Bellingham where you can go raise your glasses AND your cultural awareness!

• Boundary Bay Brewery: Boundary Bay’s Chili Beer, Tacos, Churros and live music by Trio Lucero Del Norte
• Fireside Martini and Wine Bar: Drink and food specials, tequila seminars
• El Gitano: the Sunset Square El Gitano is having some kind of big thing tonight.

Ok…this is disappointing. Nobody else has anything else posted online for events. Come on Bellingham, get with the times, already! …or at  least call me and let me know what’s happening! That being said, there are the obvious choices, like:

• Cinco de Mayo: Obviously they will be serving lots and lots of margaritas, beers, etc.
• Casa Que Pasa: …ditto…

I must admit…I feel a little defeated by not having found more events…please don’t hate me. I’ll do better next time…I promise. There is only one thing to do in this situation…Margaritas!

Thanks for reading! Please leave comments or suggestions below, e-mail me at rob.leroy@exprealty.com, or call me at 206.883.6668 …and yes, you CAN hire me as your real estate agent!

If you’re on Facebook, you can join my fan page for daily updates by clicking the banner below.

I took a trip back in time this afternoon helping a friend hunt down an old Polaroid camera.   After about 30 seconds of discussion, it was decided that the best place to begin the search was that great bastion of the disposed, disregarded and dispossessed; the Bellingham Goodwill super-store.

There was a time in my life when I was a regular shopper at the Goodwill store…back in the days of blue leather jackets, torn up jeans and college term-papers.  A simpler, happier time, when the beer flowed like wine, and the extent of my personal responsibilities involved little more than picking up the occasional keg for the weekend “get-together”…  So it was with great delight that I was re-introduced to the comically eccentric sights, sounds, tastes and smells of the Bellingham Goodwill.  It was also a great opportunity to test out one of my latest iPhone apps., the “Hipstamatic” camera. Click on the thumbnails to see full-sized versions.

If you’re looking for something rare, something strange, or something altogether undesirable, this is the place to find it.  They also sell snacks and books now…so go ahead, make a day of it!

Thanks for reading! Please leave comments or suggestions below, e-mail me at rob.leroy@exprealty.com, or call me at 206.883.6668 …and yes, you CAN hire me as your real estate agent!

If you’re on Facebook, you can join my fan page for daily updates by clicking the banner below.